Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Obama releases hastily photoshopped birth certificate

I hope nobody is buying this obvious photoshop job released by the White House. This is just a doctored version of the Kenyan long form birth certificate that was leaked in 2009:


  1. Actually, the one posted here is an obvious photoshop job. If you look carefully, you'll see a verticle line in front of all the "K"s in the word Kenya. This is because it's a poor copy and paste from line 11 on the certificate specifying his father's birthplace. I don't mind participating in conspiracy theories, but you gotta have better evidence than this!

  2. This was a well-known defect in the typewriters used in Kenya at the time. Those same typewriters also had the rather odd property that, every now and then, when you typed a key it would shift, lighten, darken, distort, or pixelate the paper it was being typed onto. The result is that occasional letters, or even entire words, from documents produced in Kenya at that time display what appear to the untrained eye to be telltale marks of a very poor quality Photoshop job. To be honest, that's what it looks like to me to. It takes a real expert to be able to identify the difference between those sorts of image-doctoring artifacts and the natural properties of ca. 1960s Kenyan typewriters.

    The last peculiarity is that the word "Kenya" not only has that funky line to the left of the K, but actually uses the same (apparently-typed) font no matter where it appears on the page. In order to understand this, you need to realize that the Dep't of Health was really budget-strapped in Kenya at the time, so in order to save money, they bought surplus birth certificate forms from Hawaii, taped over everywhere that "Hawaii" appears, and then typed over it (with those same funky typewriters that look like Photoshop artifacts) with the word "Kenya".

    Now, to the novice, it might seem like this document was not just an amateur photoshop job, but an amateur photoshop job done with the intention of appearing as amateur-ish and obvious as possible, for the purposes of humor. Perhaps one might even speculate that some godless liberal blogger with a side interest in cooking might have thrown it together during his lunch hour. But that's just what the Leftist mainstream media wants you to believe. Examination of this document by trained experts aware of the quirks of Kenyan typewriters and bureaucracy of the time period reveals what should have been obvious all along: The "president" is a secret atheist Muslim born in Kenya as the bastard love child of Malcolm X, whose Socialist mother planted a birth notice in a pair of Hawaiian newspapers in preparation for an eventual run for the presidency which would culminate in the destruction of America by providing old people with free estate planning. Also, he was born in Indonesia.

  3. And if you doubt any of this, ask yourself: If this was a phony birth certificate, why would the registrar have bothered to tyoe "He's from Kenya" in a completely inappropriate field in at the bottom usually reserved for justifying later amendments to the birth certificate? Clearly this brave Kenyan bureaucrat was presciently trying to save America from the scourge of openly gay people serving in the military. That is the only sensible explanation. Anything else requires the kind of twisted reasoning we have come to expect from those who are concerned with reality (and its well-known liberal bias).