Thursday, July 29, 2010

Ellis Washington comes clean about his compulsive lying and his violent goat sex fetish

I always wondered about WND columnist Ellis Washington. He seemed to have very little concern over the veracity of his statements, and furthermore, he always seemed to me like the type of person who liked to tie up goats and rape them. Now we have confirmation, right from his own mouth:

"I am a worthless liar with no journalistic integrity. I also like to rape goats, all day long." --Ellis Washington

Although perhaps not Ellis Washington's exact words, do you think they reflect his sexual animosity towards the truth and goats? Remember a quote can be a paraphrase of one's ideas and sentiments.

Update: Washington has now admitted to being a homosexual with a beard fetish. Stay tuned to this blog for continued breaking news about these shocking revelations, which are coming directly from Ellis himself! (Or might as well have, since this is what I imagine he meant to say)


  1. Brilliant. I heard somewhere* that he's also said this...

    "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt."

    * The Simpsons

  2. Now I'll have to get my pearls re-strung, darn it. You just can't trust anyone these days!?!!!

  3. "My most erotic dreams involve Jesus and Muhammad taking turns being sexually submissive to a well hung Charles Darwin in a Monkey Costume on an alter." -- Ellis Washington

    That's a direct paraphrase of what I think he meant. Or at least of what someone else thought he meant when he said something. Pretty shocking though!

    And might I add, a-la Glenn Beck, that Washington has not denied this! I don't think he has those dreams. But it would be nice for him to at least stop refusing to deny it.