Sunday, August 15, 2010

There are no fucking As in "definitely"

I'm sure a bazillion people have made this same post, but I am fucking PISSED. There are NO FUCKING "A"s IN "DEFINITELY", FUCKING INTERNET!!! GAH!

Holy shit, I just realized my calling in life is to write a fucking browser plug-in that filters all incoming text, and if a string appears that matches "definitely" but with one of the fucking characters substituted for an A, then it will fucking fix it so you don't have to see humanity with its pants around its ankles tugging at its weiner and spewing "A"s all over a word with no fucking "A"s in it.

This is fucking rediculous.

The punchline may not be worth it. I am experiencing physical pain seeing that last word on my screen...

4 comments:

  1. Hee. Yes, I can imagine that the punchline might not be. I've seen it spelled worse, though. It's okay when you do it on purpose. Just remember that.

    And if it makes you feel better, I was glancing at an Entertainment Weekly (it was a freebie), and there in a review of the girl who likes to kiss other girls was a hideous, nonsensical fragment that left me, at least, going what the fuck? Really? They missed that? That made sense? Sigh.

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  2. Guilty as charged. I love that little squiggly line that tells me I've done gone and fucked up some linguistic shit. It means your safe from what I did their.

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  3. heh, nice one.

    I was thinking about it later, and the sensation I get when I see "definately" and "rediculous" is something like this: You just went swimming, and you don't have a change of clothes, but you need to ride home in a car. No big deal, your towel is fairly dry, so you arrange it on the seat and sit on that. The seat will get a little damp, but it won't get soaked. The drive home is twenty minutes.

    That feeling right before you get out of the car, when your butt is all itchy from sitting in a damp towell-y mess? That's how my brain feels when I see "definately". Argh, it's happening right now!

    I get a similar sensation from your/you're and there/their/they're confusion, but it's not as intense... and moreover, I can't afford to get quite so bent out of shape about it, since I occasionally make those homophonic errors myself when I am in a hurry. Always makes me cringe if I hit "send" or "post" before catching it :D

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  4. It's towing the line while having to make due with intensive purposes that bugs me.

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