That guy's horrible mustache

Okay, every time I go to work on my blog the last 24 hours or so, that guy from the military chaplaincy post is staring me in the face. His mustache! Oh my god! I cannot handle it! I feel like his mustache is either about to grow a mouth of its own and say, "I will pray for you," or else it is going to jump right off his face and start pummeling me. Or groping me. Or both. Or all three.

Mr. Mustache guy, I will shave for you.