Thursday, May 10, 2012

The tale of Skip Tex and Regina Edgars

One day, Skip Tex logged into Facebook and found that he had a friend request waiting for him. It was a woman by the name of Regina Edgars, whom his friend Sally C. Atwater had introduced him to at a party. The idea was that Regina had some campaign experience which, it was hoped, could help Skip with his political ambitions.

Now Skip wasn't so sure about this... Regina seemed knowledgeable and eager to help, but Skip Tex was predominantly progressive, while Edgars on the other hand was a registered Republican. The only other Republicans which Skip had friended on Facebook were his parents, and he was pretty tired of seeing all the birther nonsense and other crap they would constantly link to from WorldNetDaily. It wasn't even so much the terrible policy positions or even the undercurrent of racism that bugged Skip so much; it was just the patent absurdity of the articles his parents posted. But Sally assured him Regina was different.

Cautiously, tentatively, Skip clicked "accept" and added Regina to his friends list. The very next day, he saw that Edgars had reposted a status to her wall: a well-meaning request to send a birthday card to a kid with brain cancer. Problem is, the story had already been thoroughly debunked by Snopes, years ago.

With a roll of his eyes, Skip clicked over to Edgars' profile and unfriended her. An overreaction? Perhaps. But nobody who knew the personality of Skip Tex would be surprised. This is his pet peeve after all. Maybe he missed a golden opportunity by rejecting Edgars' overtures, but in practice it didn't matter. Even from the beginning, he wasn't sure he could get along with Edgars, and the Snopes fiasco just seemed to confirm his suspicions. Justified or not, that door was closed.

Moral of the story: The most surefire way to piss off Skip Tex is by saying something that anybody with an Internet connection can plainly see is false.

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