Friday, July 17, 2009

"Everybody must like the same things I do, or else they are a pathetic bitter individual!"

I read a post over at ScienceBlogs today by this math guy who works at Google talking about why he won't be going to his high school reunion. In short, he had no friends in his graduating class (all of his friends were one or two years younger or older than him) and had probably about the worst high school experience I've ever heard of, including a dude breaking his finger for fun, and another asshole using gasoline to paint a swastika in the street in front of his house and lighting it on fire. WTF?!

So yeah, seems pretty straightforward that he wouldn't want to go to his high school reunion, right? Even if the criminal bullying hadn't occurred, why would you want to hang out with people you were never friends with in the first place?

Except if you read the comments, there are a whole bunch of douchebags saying that guy must be "bitter" and that he needs to learn to "forgive".

Excuse me?

Look, forgiveness is a good thing, but if you forgive someone who wronged you that doesn't mean they are now automatically your friend, especially if they were never your friend to begin with.

I didn't have nearly as bad a time in high school as this guy, but it's not a time I remember fondly and I really have no desire to go to any of my reunions. Why would I? It's not a time in my life that I wish to celebrate or revisit. That just happens to be my personal choice. I understand that other people had a great time in high school, and that's fine, they should celebrate it! But not everybody has to like everything. And if somebody happens to hate something that you are fond of, you need to learn to deal with it.

For me, I wouldn't miss the Autumn Festival of Ales that Custom Brewcrafters holds out in Honeoye Falls. It's always a great time.

Now let's say some other blogger is a recovering alcoholic or maybe they just hate the taste of beer. And they happen to write a blog post about how they won't be going to the Festival of Ales. Would I show up in their comment section and accuse them of being bitter? Say that, for their own good, they had to find a way to forgive beer for tasting so bad to them?

No, that would be retarded. And so are the people showing up on MarkCC's blog and saying the same things about him.


  1. I had a fine time in high school. Even so, I haven't gone to a single reunion since graduating in 1973. For that matter, I didn't even attend the graduation itself. For me it seemed a senseless formality with no substance. My mother was disappointed, of course.

    I see "Your request could not be processed. Please try again" so I will hit Post Comment a second time...

  2. Wow! Considering MarkCCs audience is mostly nerds/geeks, Im surprised people would be so harsh.

    I had fun in high school, but only because I had a few great friends (pack of dweebs stuck together). We are still friends. We dont need reunions to hang out. No plans on going to one, unless my friends convince me to go totally hammered...

  3. My graduating class has 725 people in it, and the only one of them I really care about seeing I married. Thirty-four glorious years so far...

  4. I had a decent time in HS too. I have a few friends from my class (1986) with whom I am still in contact.

    The funny thing is, a guy who bullied and tormented me for years sent me a friend request on facebook that I ignored. I had more than one person mention that I should forgive, or that I was holding on to resentments. B.S. I just have no interest in contacting this person, nor in how his life turned out.

  5. I have heard rumors of a future high school reunion and I think I might go, although I don't have particularly fond memories of high school. (College was much better!) I fear that my motives may not be pure. Sure, there are a handful of old friends and friendly acquaintances I wouldn't mind seeing again, but certainly part of my impulse to attend is based on the fact that I'm probably better off than 95% of my former classmates. Not that I would lord it over them, but what is the status of the "cool clique" decades after graduation? I hear they won't be able to lord it over me, and that's a reversal of fortunes. I could enjoy being gracious and sympathetic.

    And it helps that I have most of my hair.

  6. And they happen to write a blog post about how they won't be going to the Festival of Ales. Would I show up in their comment section and accuse them of being bitter?

    Bitter? I'd like a pint of that, please.

  7. Very arrogant know-it-all to assume he hasn't forgiven long ago. But whether he has or hasn't don't mean a thing. It was long ago and he doesn't care, so what? I quit high school 52 years ago and never missed it, never missed any of the people who were classmates, couldn't wait for it to be over and never went back. Some people just seem to get stuck in a time warp

  8. It is interesting that I read this now, since I am currently skipping my reunion that is being held just a mile away from my house. Facebook has made it so that I could find just about everyone about who I cared but somehow had lost contanct with them. I don't begrudge my former classmates' enthusiasm, but it is not for me. I didn't think that that was such a hard concept.

  9. I've never attended a reunion - HS or college. The people from HS I want to be in contact with, I am already. Don't need a reunion for an excuse. No interest in college reunions. I had some friends but no interest in rekindling any friendships that have ended.

  10. I don't know whats so wrong with not forgiving, or holding on to resentment. I agree people can change, but i also think it takes a special kind of asshole to break a kids finger for fun, and what reason would he have to think that the kind of people that treated him like shit in highschool are any different today? Why should he care? I say good on him. Maybe you can forgive them for their trespasses against you, but never forget what kind of people they can be. There are a few people i graduated with, that i want nothing to do with, not because of who they are now, but because of what i know they are capable of.

  11. A friend of mine who was persecuted mercilessly at HS nonetheless went to her reunion and ended up chucking up in the bushes on the way, one of her friends did the same thing, why bother?
    I nearly ran into one the girls I was at school with at uni but I ducked behind a pillar and I've never seen her again!